Not My Best Side
by Going Merry
Summary: West End fever's hit Magnolia town! For Magnolia's X784 annual harvest festival, Fairy Tail's putting on 'Not My Best Side', a play in 3 acts in which The Dragon (starring Natsu), The Princess (starring Lucy) and The Knight (starring Loke) are given a chance to prove they're more than just their common codenames, and do more than what their stereotypical roles suggest.


**Not My Best Side chapter 1: Introduction**

_Drumroll; the curtains part to reveal a masked, tuxedoed, female narrator before falling back into place. Cymbals, crrash! _

_She lifts her top-hat, black and shiny and perched perkily on her waxed-back hair, and announces in a deep, rolling voice-_

_"My name is Leonira*. I am a fairy. Fairies are neither boy nor girl."*_

_There is a pause; s/he? looks like a female (boobs are small, but discernible) but has a deep bass voice, strangely deep yet crystal clear. It is lower than that of most males, and cannot be a girl's. _

_S/he pipes up- "My favored pronoun is 'she', in case anyone's confused." _

_The silence, breaks, and suddenly the air is abuzz. This will happen many more times throughout that strange, magical, human, evening, but this is the first time and suddenly the atmosphere is warmer, electrified. Everyone is hyped up, and the discussion, the noise reaches the level of a swarm of bees before two resounding claps from Leonira hushes the crowd. They settle, expecting. _

_"Well, hello Ladies, Gentlemen, Rogues and others all. Welcome to a play by Magnolia's (that's you guys) most beloved guild- Fairy Tail!"_

_She pauses while the audience erupts in cheers, whooping and clapping. A wizened old lady with gleaming eyes un-purses* her flappy gums and clacks her false teeth in approval. _

_Leonira grins through her Pantalone mask* like an amused long-nosed joker. It is not an unpleasant sight. Rather, it added a layer of magic to the wide grass patch off the town centre, where what seemed like the entire population of Magnolia was seated in front of the humongous makeshift stage erected by the Fairy Tail crew. And the guild members hadn't even entered the scene! Leonira was a top-notch emcee indeed. _

_"I'm your emcee for today, and I'll be making all the nagging announcements no one really wants to hear, like to clean up after the show, drinks and ice cream will be sold during interval at XX price, and all that. Levy here," she waves to the right of the stage, where Levy McGarden, long-time member of Fairy Tail, had ascended the stairs in her platforms and was waving exuberantly to the crowd, thick! script in hand. (She was adorable). "gets to do the cool stuff- She's here to introduce the play! Let's welcome the play's, SCRIPTWRITER!" _

_The crowd claps, and Jet and Droy, backstage, count to three and shout "GO LEVYYY!" _

_She blushes prettily and tucks a wavy lock of hair behind her right ear, where a pencil has already marked its territory. Somehow the pencil nestled there doesn't fall, and Levy's smile doesn't wane a little. If anything, it widens, and the little (shrimp!) lady beams (she is too cute!) and hollers "THANK YOU LEONIRA, THANK YOU EVERYONE! I'M LEVY MCGARDEN FROM FAIRY TAIL, RESIDENT SOLID SCRIPT MAGE AND LONG TIME LITERATURE LOVER. IF YOU EVER SEE A FLASH OF INHUMANLY BLUE IN YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY AFTER LIGHTS OUT, DON'T WORRY, IT'S PROBABLY JUST ME AND THIS BLUE HAIR!" The large, matronly woman in the third row chuckles the loudest. Levy flashes her a grin. She is presumably the librarian, and the source of the legend of the "library ghost". _

_"OUR PLAY IS CALLED 'NOT MY BEST SIDE', AND IS THE COLLECTIVE EFFORT, BIG OR SMALL, OF ALL THE FAIRY TAIL MEMBERS AVAILABLE! NOW, YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW THIS FROM OUR BEAUTIFUL POSTERS (COURTESY OF REEDUS), BUT OUR STARS FOR TODAY WILL BE THE GUILD MEMBERS EVERYONE KNOWS AND LOVES- NATSU DRAGNEEL, LUCY HEARTFILIA, AND LOKE!" _

_Screams. Screams from a multitude of fangirls, mixed with some moans from questionably perverted males in the crowd, rise into the evening air like a mushroom cloud. This swiftly turns into a collective "awww" when "YOU CAN'T SEEM THEM YET, BECAUSE OUR COSTUME TEAM, HAS WORKED REALLY HARD ON THEIR COSTUMES, SO GET READY TO BE WOWED WHEN THEY APPEAR!" _

_Levy draws in a deeep breath, her hair quivering in the hot evening wind, and as she screws up her already red face in preparation of another bellow the crowd reflects on how such a small body could hold such a large voice, pities Gajeel for a moment, then realise that heck, maybe all Fairy Tail's like that, just look at Natsu and Gray and Erza and Cana and oh Mavis, Makarov. _

_"IT'S CO-WRITTEN BY NATSU, LUCY, LOKE, AND ME, AND IT'S BASED ON THE FAMOUS (painting of) SAINT GEORGE AND THE DRAGON. FAIRY TAIL HAS ALWAYS BEEN DIFFERENT, AND WE'RE HERE TODAY TO BREAK THE PRINCESS-IN-PRISON, KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR BATTLES EVIL DRAGON (to shouts of Natsu's not evil! from the crowd) STEREOTYPE! OUR PLAY IS BASED ON FANTHORPE'S POEM 'NOT MY BEST SIDE', ITSELF BASED ON PAULO UCCELLO'S PAINTING 'ST. GEORGE AND THE DRAGON'*, BUT WE'VE JAZZED IT ALL UP, FAIRY TAIL STYLE! LEONIRA HERE'S TOO HUMBLE; OF COURSE SHE'LL BE DOING MORE IN THIS PRODUCTION! YOU'LL SEE, AND HEAR LOTS MORE OF HER LATER. NOW, I'VE GONE ON FOR TOO LONG; PEOPLE OF MAGNOLIA, ARE/ YOU/ FIRED/ UP?" _

_YEEEEESSSSSSS! _

_"I CAN'T HEAR YOU! NOW, ARE. YOU. FIRED. UPPP!"_

_YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!_

_"THEN LET THE PLAY BEGIN!" _

_The crowd cheers, and roars and roars and roars, and the play's not even begun! The heavy faux-velvet curtains part, and are swept east and west into the wings._

_There is a pause- _

_Then the stage becomes a sea. All, Blue. _

_It is the only way to describe the stage. Spreading from the middle of the stage, an actual wave rises from the gaps in the floorboards, swashing and frothing over the entire expanse of the wooden-panelled stage. It is the sound of the ocean, breaking, breaking, breaking. Rivulets of water trickle through the floorboards, and the stagelights shimmer, shaky spots of blue like canflelight through a lampshade, like a dozen shivering faerie lights through the wave that has become a wall of water, underwater lanterns borne by a dozen concealed mermaids and mermen on the move. The watery, wavering wall gathers speed, and height, then pauses, quivering over the crowd like a wave of jelly suspended in a time spell- held back, but only barely. _

_The audience members hold their breath just in case, some of them inwardly groaning that Fairy Tail really overdid everything and yes the water was cool but being drowned most definitely was not! The wizened old lady in the front row merely clacks her false teeth and gurgles in private laughter. _

_But the wave does not break, instead gathering upwards and inwards. It sucks water from the grass below the stage, suu-suu-suu from the wooden floorboards, all the while rising to the height of a titan or a sea-goddess, full and translucent and generous as the great body of water, the sea. _

_Then, _

_a woman! The silhouette of a woman! Breaking and bonding at the edges due to the moving water, but undeniably, _

_a woman! _

_The audience gasps, as the watery giantess disintegrates with a mighty swash, _

_a__nd the lights fall_

_on a singular blue-haired woman, dressed as though for winter, dressed as though she would be everlastingly ready for the ice to fall. _

_This woman, has come to love the Spring when the rains do their robust rounds, but will always hold Winter as her favourite season. _

_This woman, _

_illuminated by a single spotlight, _

_Juvia!_

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><p>Bonjour, everybody! Going Merry here. It's my first (though short) multi-chaptered fic and I'm really excited, so I thought I'd be more personable and share some of my thoughts alongside Official Business and The Story. So, this was inspired by <strong>'Not My Best Side'<strong>, a poem by **U. A. Fanthorpe** challenging (humorously!) the stereotypical storyline of the damsel-in-distress (sometimes a Princess) who is guarded by ROO-OAR! - a dragon and saved by a knight in shining armour. The poem uses completely modern terms and makes references to **Paulo Uccello**'s painting '**St. George and the Dragon**' (which I'll set as the cover photo if it's in the public domain).

Please read, review, and favourite! Though I haven't experienced it much, it's really encouraging to see an increase in reviews/favourites. 

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><p>So, disclaimers!<p>

1. Cover photo: **'St. George and the Dragon'** by **Paulo Uccello**.

2. I've weaved in the poem '**Not My Best Side**' by **U. A. Fanthorpe** into this fanfic. Of course it belongs to Fanthorpe. Read it here: ( english. emory. edu / classes / paintings & poems / uccello . html)

3. **Magnolia town, the annual Magnolia harvest festival, the characters of Fairy Tail**, all these do not belong to me. They belong to **Hiro Mashima**. I'm just putting on a puppet show spin-off with them :)

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><p>Fic-reading help:<p>

1. Delete all spaces before and after all punctuation marks in links for them to work. 

2. Characters introduced in this chapter:

Leonira (OC*), emcee and narrator

Levy McGarden, scriptwriter and narrator

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><p>Footnotes (*):<p>

1. **"Leonira"** is inspired by the character Leronira of 'Liar Game' by Shinobu Kaitani. Read more about him here: ( liarsgame. wikia wiki / Leronira)

2. **"Fairies are neither boy nor girl."** from 'The Tale of a Fairy' by Karl Lagerfeld for CHANEL ( www. youtube watch ? v = X3 _ rl2fAyy4) Warning: topless female and males featured

3. **"un-purses"** may not be an actual word. I might do this repeatedly throughout the fic if I feel like it, but I'll make sure to asterisk them so as not to mislead you guys.

4. **"pantalone mask"** "Features a sizeable hook nose that looks like a beak, and slanted eyes, Historically derived from a classic character in Italian theater, Pantalone had a witty, intelligent personality."- tweaked, but taken off ( www. vivomasks blogs / masquerade / 8966917- the- 7- different- types- of- masquerade- masks) Some more masks with meaning might be used later in the fic. Leonira is a witty, intelligent character. Sharp, and smart.

5. **"PRINCESS-IN-PRISON"** Since Lucy's often "The Princess", I decided to change up 'damsel-in-distress' for something more immediately relevant.

6. **"FANTHORPE'S POEM 'NOT MY BEST SIDE', ITSELF BASED ON PAULO UCCELLO'S PAINTING 'ST. GEORGE AND THE DRAGON'" **refer to disclaimer

7. **"OC"** means Original Character


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